teen blues or teen blessing?

teen blues or teen blessing?

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My son is 18,but most of the time acts 9.Lookin at some of the things teens now days are getting into I don't know rather to jump for joy or pull my hair out.He dosen't have the problem of  drinking & drugs, jail, teen parenting and ect..... But we just can't stop bumping heads. He over talks me when ever we're having a conversation about what he's doing or not doing, or even when I tell him I don't like something he's doing. He gets so defensive so quick, before I can get what Im saying out of my mouth  he's already cut me off with his defense.Alot of the times its not even about him, But it becomes about him because of the disrespectful way he's talking to me. I've been getting it off me through prayer, but when does it stop ? when I put him out? I just don't want to do that because I don't want him to end up dropping out of high school, or him ending up out there on the street with the sharks he's just a little gold fish compared to them, I've been on the streets as a teen and that was back then. I just don't think he'll make it out there. and I love him , I just want him to slow down and listen!!! what can I do? he says he's grown at one hand but he still gets a $10 allowance every week. That dosen't sound grown to me! HELP PLEASE!

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Trisha
I believe it is a stage they all go through where they are "battling for their independence. On one hand they are still dependent on us as parents( for shelter, food, clothes, etc.) and on the other hand they want to "do what they want-when they want-how they want". My son is 19 and is the "baby of th family" so it is quite a challenge for any of us to allow him to be "as grow" as he would like. But the important thing is to allow him to voice his opinion (in a respectful manner). I make it known that if I'm gonna listen to what you have to say, then you'll gonna have to extend the courtesy to me and LISTEN to what I have to say. It is amazing how we as parents feel as though our children are not listening.but they do. They ACT like they are not listening. but years later the remind you of what you said)the good things you said AND the "not-so-good" things(we say)SMILE. What I have learned from my children(25, 24, 19) is that they get defensive when they feel like they are not being heard or when I don't agree with them. The fact thay you are communicating is good! One thing you don"t wanna do is shut down communication, You don't want him to feel like he can't talk to you. My children talk to me about EVERYTHING! Sometimes while they are talking to me I think to myself "why are you telling me this" SMILE. But I thank God that they are talking to me and NOT paying to talk to a psychic or a "psychathrist". There were several things I did whenever my children went through their "I'm grown" years. I continued to "encourage them". They don't like to be "told" what to do because they think we (as parents) don't know nothing(excuse my ebonics). In their minds they think "you don't want me to be happy and have fun". Rather then "tell them what to do" ASK them what they are thinking about doing and THEN "suggest" what you think they should do, End the conversation with "its YOUR decision". this way when it don't turn out the way "they think it will" they cannotplace the blame on you and say "well you 'da one who told me to do...". By allowing them to make the decision they become responsible for dealing with the outcome and facing the consequences.Continue to pray and trust God for "wisdom from above" The bible said that "foolishness is bound in the heart of a child.." and truth be told WE were children at one time so we have to sometimes remember how we were and say"Lord have mercy" just as our parents said when we "cut up". Remember that "Faith is the substance of things "HOPE" for and the evidence of things unseen" and eventhough we don't SEE the change in our children when we want to see it, we as parents must continue to believe that God is working behind the scenes and bringing forth all the good we HOPE for in our children. Hope this comment helps. Be encouraged! Don't let the enemy have his way with your child. Pray ...and keep praying...and when you finish,,,Pray summo!hahahaha, God is Good & and He is faithful to do ALL that He promised concerning you and your son!!!
Trisha , October 27, 2010
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